Seasons

New Zealand has had its international borders closed since March 2020. It is crazy that it has almost been 2 full years since then. I narrowly missed this as I came back from India following a trip to the States at the end of February 2020. At this time I did not know what was ahead with increased restrictions on being able to go back to visit soon. As they are closed it means you cannot return to New Zealand without going through a period of mandatory isolation for 14 days, which has now come down to 7 days. This is quite an expensive and tedious process which many others are feeling the weight of as well.

Due to these various travel restrictions, I have recently been feeling a deep heartache for both America and India in not being able to go back this year. This weight I have felt in my heart is somewhat reminiscent of mourning the fact that I can't currently go to places I would very much like to be. I really loved the time I get to spend in each place and have fond memories. I've gotten to grow up in both America and New Zealand and also travel to experience Indian culture, their way of life whilst developing life-long friendships along the way in each place. I have found that as I do move from one place I leave a piece of myself there but I also carry a piece of the place and people with me to the next.

New Zealand alongside these places is also very much home to me now. This January it is coming up to being here with my family for 9 years. I have come to love this place and the people I have gotten to know here. As I moved here when I was 12 years old that had a strong impact on my identity. Many of you may be familiar with the term of a third culture kid (TCK), or you may even find that contributes to your identity and who you are as well. A TCK is someone that was raised in a culture other than their parent's or own nationality during a significant part of their developmental years. So for me, this is a little melting pot of America and New Zealand that creates a third culture that I experience and perceive. Over the past few years, I have naturally experienced a transition from kid to adult - you could say TCA now haha - and growing in understanding of how this shapes my life moving forward.

As I go forward there will forever be a paradox of being somewhere and not the other. This creates emotions of happiness and sadness which coexist and sit in tension with each other. My home countries and India are each special for me in different ways. Each has close family and|or dear friends. As I will never be in each place at once is to remain with a constant pull on my heart in different directions. To have a third culture is to hang in the balance between different places and people.

My family will tell you I was the last one of us that wanted to move from the U.S. and leave friends and family behind. We had gone through a period of 18 months before moving to NZ without our own home. This made the transition easier in a sense as we could finally be in our own space. Once we were here for a few weeks I had quickly settled and started to make friends. Today, I now still very much have an apprehension to change initially but have the same ease to settle once change does come. It's a weird ability I've developed to easily transition from a young age.

Wherever I go feels like home which is special and is something I am truly thankful for. Each place I go brings comfort and joy. For me, this peace definitely comes from the Holy Spirit within me as well as being grounded in my identity in Christ.

As I've been processing all of this I am recognising there are moments I may be called to go and moments I may be called to stay. I am sensing a call to remain content wherever I am and to embrace the opportunities of the current place and moment that is before me. To walk with grace through each season that comes in the good and bad.

We may not be able to change the timing of the seasons we are in but we have the ability to influence the way we allow the seasons to shape us.

To focus on who we are becoming as we navigate through the seasons of life.